_Bill_. Now by all the 'ungry gums of Arabiar, 'ere's a swell arter
our Mattie!--A right rig'lar swell! I knows 'em--soverings an' red
socks. What's come to our Mattie? 'Ere's Daddy Longlegs arter her,
vith his penny and his blessin'! an' 'ere's this 'ere mighty swell
vith his soverings--an' his red socks! An' she's 'ungry, poor
gal!--This 'ere yellow-boy?--I 'ain't got no faith in swells--no more
'n in Daddy Longlegses--I 'ain't!--S'posin' he wants to marry
her?--Not if I knows it. He ain't half good 'nough for _her_. Too many
quids--goin' a flingin' on 'em about like buttons! He's been a
crackin' o' cribs--_he_ has. I ain't a goin' to interduce our Mattie
to no sich blokes as him. No fathers or lovyers for me--says I!--But
this here pebble o' Paradise!--What's to be done wi' the cherub? I
can't tell _her_ a lie about it, an' who'll break it up for a cove
like me, lookin' jes' as if I'd been an' tarred myself and crep'
through a rag-bag! They'd jug me. An' what 'ud Mattie say then? I wish
I 'adn't 'a' touched it. I'm blowed if I don't toss it over a
bridge!--Then the gent 'ain't got the weight on his dunop out o' me. O
Lord! what _shall_ I do with it? I wish I'd skied it in his face! I
don't believe it's a good un; I don't! (_Bites it_.) It do taste wery
nasty. It's nothin' better 'n a gilt fardin'! Jes' what a cove might
look for from sich a swell! (_Goes to a street lamp and examines it_.)
Lor! there's a bobby! (_Exit. Re-enter to the lamp_.) I wish the
gen'leman 'ad guv me a penny. I can't do nothin' wi' this 'ere quid.
Vere am I to put it? I 'ain't got no pocket, an' if I was to stow it
in my 'tato-trap, I couldn't wag my red rag--an' Mother Madge 'ud soon
have me by the chops. Nor I've got noveres to plant it.--O Lor! it's
all I've got, an' Madge lets nobody go to bed without the tuppence.
It's all up with Bill--_for_ the night!--Where's the odds!--there's a
first-class hotel by the river--The Adelphi Arches, they calls
it--where they'll take me in fast enough, and I can go to sleep with
it in my cheek. Coves is past talkin' to you there. Nobody as sees me
in that 'ere 'aunt of luxury, 'ill take me for a millionaire vith a
skid in his mouth. 'Tain't a bit cold to-night neither (_going_).--Vy
do they say a _aunt_ of luxury? I s'pose acause she's wife to my
uncle. _Exit_.